Our Loss

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It's a day to raise awareness of miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy, still births, and infant loss. You can find more info here.

This day actually means something to Travis and I now. We suffered our own loss in July. We lost a pregnancy on July 27th at 10weeks. We will always always remember this baby even though we never met him or her. I have tried to write about this for awhile now and haven't been able, but thought today was as good as ever. It was a scary time. I ended up in the hospital for a few days and had a D&C. I am fine now and ready to try again. We were able to get pregnancy without any fertility drugs so we hope to again. I have an appt with a new Dr in November as my Dr passed away a few weeks ago!

Anyways, today at 7pm all over the world in different time zones everyone will be lighting candles for one hour to remember our babies.

So many people grieve in silence and the goal of today is to bring awareness to this and to remember. I have had so much support from amazing friends and family. I don't know how Travis or I would have been able to get through it without them.

Love y'all,

Justin

Kaeli Elyse Modern Digital Prints COUPON CODE!!

I know I haven't updated in forever! Things have been crazy. I have a blog post half written with an update but haven't been able to bring myself to finish it and post. Hopefully I will soon.

But I'm here to talk about something different today and a little more exciting!! Through this journey with infertility I have met some of the most amazing woman going through the same. Although I don't wish infertility on anyone wanting a baby I am so thankful for these girls in my life. I was lucky to be able to help one of them recently. It's not really my place to to tell her story but I will tell you that she is the sweetest girl and needs our support!! She has an etsy shop called Kaeli Elyse and makes the cutest digital modern prints! She sent me one and I LOVE it!

Her message from her site:

"Times are hard, but making your house a home isn't out of reach with my digital prints! Each print is customized & made to order just for you! 100% of the proceeds go toward funding our fertility treatments/baby fund. I help you decorate your home, while you help us fill ours. Thank you so much for shopping!"

This month a portion of her sales are going to help a friend's documentary about their surrogacy journey! Check it out on Facebook here!

Here are a just a few of my favorites

 LOVE this one so much! Hope to have it hanging in my house one day!!

She is offering all my friends, family and whoever is reading this 10% off if you mention "Allred10" when you order!

So if you need something super fun to fill some wall space in your house, need a baby shower or wedding shower gift, these are perfect and they are helping pay for infertility treatments for some people that would make AMAZING parents!

Xoxo,

Justin



Infertility song.

Had another dr's appt today.

It went good, but we still don't have anwsers.

More testing in a month and hopefully will have a plan then.

For now we just wait.....

This song sums up my life right now.

Long overdue update!

It's been forever since I updated this blog but felt like today was a good time!! Last I wrote about was that I was about to start taking Clomid. A LOT has happened since then. Then my dr was very hopeful that we would get pregnant right away. Well, we didn't. I just finished my second month of clomid and we aren't any closer to getting pregnant, if anything we are 10 steps back. Long story short, over the last few months I found out that I have Poly cystic ovarian syndrome(PCOS). That was a huge shock!! And today I found out I have 8 cyst on my ovaries and also that I am not pregnant. No clue what kind of cyst, if they are harmful or not. My nurse literately called me today, said my uterus looks great and that I have 8 cyst and hung up the phone before I could ask any questions. Today sucked!! Good news is, I'm switching dr's and have my first appt with the new one tomorrow afternoon. It would take me a week to explain all the reasons I am switching! It's been hell with the current dr and I'm happy to be moving on.

So tomorrow, I'm praying that my new dr has a better plan and more advice than my current dr has given. I'm excited to see if there is something different we can try. Maybe there is more testing he can do or something! We are willing to try anything at this point. This month will be #21 of trying to conceive. I'm ready for this journey to end!!!

I have been very very positive this whole time and today I hit the point to where I am angry. Every time I go to my dr its bad news after bad news. I don't know when enough will be enough but I am NOT giving up. It's hard on me and Trav. But thankfully our marriage is stronger than ever and I don't know how we would get through the days without each other. I love you babe!!!!

Also, my friends and family! If you are reading this you know who you are!! Calling/texting me every day to see how I am and listening to me rant about all this!! I LOVE YOU and don't know what I did to deserve such AMAZING friends!! And all you women that are in the same boat I am, I'm so thankful we all have each other as support team!!  (Side note----if you are reading this and are trying to conceive and want support, please please let me know so I can add you to our little fb group, email me at justmoffat @ gmail dot com)

Long story short....Trying to have a baby is not fun!! LOL

My friends are throwing a BBQ birthday Party for me this weekend and I don't think I've ever been more excited! We need to relax, laugh and get our minds off this for a few hours at least!!


XOXO,
Justin

PS....I'd love to add pics to my post so they aren't so blah looking but I don't know how! :) sorry!!!!

Update!

Sorry it's been so long since my last post! I'm going to keep this short and sweet because my allergies are killing me today and I want to take a nap!

I had my follow up appt with my Dr a few weeks ago. Everything went really well and we talked about starting clomid, the fertility medication to stimulate my ovaries. He said he is very hopeful that we will get pregnant soon with the meds. He did mention my chances of getting pregnant without the meds are good as well(now that one of my tubes is unblocked) but with my age he thinks I should try Clomid to try and speed things up. We will try 3 months of clomid and see what happens. I want it to work in the first month but I won't get my hopes up too high!! That's pretty much it! I will have to go in for blood work on cycle day 21 to check my progesterone to see if I ovulated and then again on day 28 to either prepair for the next cycle or to see if I'm pregnant!

I know a lot of you are reading this from Kelly's Korner. If you have any experience with clomid, please let me know! Praying for all of you as well!

XOXO,
Justin

What's been going on...

I've decided to go ahead and start blogging to keep everyone updated on whats happening and for Trav and I to have it for memories! Although after today I'm not sure I want to remember! More on that in a minute!!

So...all of you at some point in the last year or longer have ask the million dollar question..."When are y'all going to have kids?" Well, we've been trying and trying and trying. Obviously it hasn't happened. Last month we decided it was finally time to seek medical help and find out why it's not happening. I went to my Dr last month and we got a game plan. It was basically to have us both go through some test, then start fertility meds. I was SO hopeful and it NEVER occurred to me that something might be wrong. I thought we would get the testing done, everything would be great, start taking fertility meds and get pregnant.

There has seemed to be some kind of road block with every step we've taken in the last month. So frustrating and disappointing for us both. At times I just had to laugh at our luck!! Most of you know everything that's gone on this month!

To bring you up to date to today. I had to have a procedure called a hysteosalpingogram(HSG for short). It's where they inject dye into my cervix to see if it will flow into my fallopian tubes to see if there is a blockage. Sounds fun, right?? It was HORRIBLE! The Dr told me I would know if my tubes were blocked because it would be painful. Painful it was! I screamed so loud! Both tubes were blocked. He was able to unblock one tube during the procedure. Needless to say, I was upset. My game plan wasn't going as we had hoped but I am thankful to know why we haven't been able to get pregnant. And even more so to know that I have one working tube now!! Finally some answers. I'm not sure what will happen next. I will follow up with my Dr next week. The Dr today said options might be surgery to unblock the other tube or to move on to meds to stimulate my ovaries. He also mentioned that I could have endometriosis. I'm really hoping against surgery but honestly at this point I will do whatever it takes!!

I was looking at my papers today from my Dr and noticed it said "diagnoses: infertility." My heart kinda dropped right then. I know its true but for some reason seeing it in black and white made it so real. I've always feared I would be infertile. I'm not sure why but have always had that gut feeling about it. Yes, it hurts and its scary but I'm promising myself WE will get through this and it will end with us becoming parents and making our parents grandparents! So for now, we will take it day by day and hold onto hope!!! I will post more once we know what will happen next! Thanks everyone for your prayers!! It means so much to us!

****Sorry if there are typos or this post is all over the place....I'm blaming the horrible pain I'm in from that lovely procedure**** :)

Love y'all,
Justin